HOME SWEET home

The concept of your home is a mysterious thing. You want to be there but then you don't to be there. 

You grow all your life in a place where you are nurtured. It's like a sweet giant ball of comfort where everything is fine and all happy. The space of your own, the room for your varied thoughts. And as you grow up you find it's not so good after all. It's a mess but a mess you would prefer to stay out of but you can not at the moment. Fights with siblings and parents, quarrels with neighbors, denial of going out permissions, and everything in between.

But you fight because this is your home and you don't know where else you can go, where else will you be welcomed with open arms. The struggles won't be of your own only. But when you stumble, you would have a ton of strong shoulders to pick you up. So, you don't run. Well, now you can vouch human being is a social animal.

You grow up slowly and steadily making a home out of your own home with the friends of your own choice, with the partners you thought you would end up together for your whole life. Some stay back and some leaves but that's what life is all about right. People leave at the exact moment when you needed them. But there's someone whom you can look back to always, your family. No matter the love-hate relationship you have, no matter the number of times there have been fights; You look back and they are always there. 

Alas, the time comes for what you have wanted throughout your whole lifetime - to move away from them, to move away from the family. Some call it daring and say coming out of your comfort zone. But you are not afraid anymore. Because you have lived quite enough and you know this is the right time to get out. If it's not now, it's never. You build up your courage and take a final decision to never look back and enjoy the newborn freedom. Chilling, partying, making friends, crashing every night in some place new, hanging out in whatever place you wanted, and hitting the bed with lots of overthinking.  The only time when you feel the need to call them is when you are running out of money in your bank balance or you are in need of the one otp to binge-watch some random shows with your new family. It's all fun, it's all miraculous.

Until one day you stumble upon a problem. A problem that's not so big because obviously all your lives you have handled your problems really well without needing anyone's help. But here you are breaking down on one small problem and thinking how easy it would be back home. It's not always a problem that jogs your memory of the home. It is sometimes the need for approval. Sometimes all you want to hear is, "Yes, let's go for a walk", "Hey kid, dad brought ice cream", and "Can you help me with this in the kitchen". Sometimes it's those big magical families you see on screens laughing together and sometimes when all of your friends are talking about their vacations. And sometimes you remember them obviously because need to log in to the ott channel.

It's not that hard to not feel anything. But family is something we can't contain our emotions about. It's everything without even trying to be anything. So, one day you just randomly call mum and ask her if she is okay and if she is singing anymore and if she could send her songs. You started texting your dad good morning. Life is not much easier now, the pressure of everything still remains. But you are comforted by the presence of someone known in the realities of the unknown. And you are happy with the feeling. So, this time when you hit the bed, you don't think about how that friend of yours treated you that night or how hard life is gonna be. All you think about is how happy little things are and how you should have never left home. But it's nice and good and you can go through with all of these when you have a home back.